 CRAIG
KILBORN
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"President Bush has unveiled a new campaign
slogan: 'Safer, Stronger, Tested.' I'm confused, are we talking
about a re-election or a condom?" —Craig Kilborn
"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for
president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without
the flash and the sizzle." —Craig Kilborn
"As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic
nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's
service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in
1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush
has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day."
—Craig Kilborn
"Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see
who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard,
I believe?" —Craig Kilborn
"Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military
service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80
percent." —Craig Kilborn
"The White House released President Bush's military records from the
National Guard, which include a rare photo of Bush in an F-102 flown
by his chauffeur." —Craig Kilborn
"President Bush is not fazed by other candidates'
war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I
created one." —Craig Kilborn
"Bush said the unemployment situation is turning
around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John
Kerry." —Craig Kilborn
"The election is in full-swing. Republicans have
taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we
already have that? It's called Fox News." —Craig Kilborn
"Some of Hollywood's left-leaning stars turned up at a fundraiser
for John Kerry at Beverly Hills. Kerry created instant rapport by
beginning with 'My fellow bo-toxers.'" —Craig Kilborn
"Even Jessica Simpson is voting for John Kerry. You know Bush is in
trouble when his own people are turning on him." —Craig Kilborn
"President Bush has agreed to testify before Congress on one
condition -- if he has to make up a lie, he has a life line to Bill
Clinton." —Craig Kilborn
"John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. ...
He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq."
—Craig Kilborn
"As President Bush turned up the heat on the campaign trail, John
Kerry fought back the only way he knows how: carving up the slopes
on his snowboard. Oh c'mon, W. plowed through twice that much powder
back in the day." —Craig Kilborn
"Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B
deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's
Gold Card." —Craig Kilborn
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