Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !!

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !!

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand !!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!

Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!

Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

Q:Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A:He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

Q:What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?
A:The Kids in the Hall.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
A: Blowing his first nose.

Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on
Pepsi!

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some
entertainment, what shall we do?".
To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video".
Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin".
Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been
in trouble for that before"

Q: What's black and comes in little white cans?
A: Michael Jackson

Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson.

Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years
they'll probably change his name to:
The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby

Q: What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common?
A: They both play ball in the Minor League.

Q: What's the difference between them?
A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
A: He was up to a pack a day.

Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?
A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.

Q: How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another album?
A: He has a lot of stuff in the can.

Q: Who will Michael record his next album with?
A: Les Brown.

Q: Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore?
A: He's tired of all the cracks.

Q: Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.

Q: What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist?
A: A proctologist doesn't pay for the assholes he's poked around in.

`Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy bar?
~It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts.

Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology":
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."

`What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter?
~Bring-em Young.

`Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John?
~It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me."

`What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
~Michael Jackson has had more noses.

`Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
~He's like the little boy he never had.

`Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?
~He's a crack addict.

`Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?
~Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.

`How did Michael get in trouble?
~He was feeling a little Randy.

`How is Michael dealing with his problems?
~He's holding his own.

`How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?
~They're all standing behind him.

`How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
~It was just a slip of the tongue.

`What's sex like for Michael?
~Child's Play.

`Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
~It comes in a little can.

`Why does Michael like children so much?
~He knows how they feel.

`How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party?
~By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.

`What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Plastic bag?
~One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with
and one is used to carry groceries.

`Did you hear Michael Jackson was running a "blue-light" special
at a local K-Mart?
~Little boys' pants were half off!

`What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
~It's the little boy inside him.

`How does Michael like to party?
~He sips a couple of Tall Boys.

`What's Michael's favorite snack?
~Slim Jims.

`What's Michael's favorite fast food?
~Big Boys.

`What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
~"The Hand that Robs the Cradle."

McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Micheal Jackson Burger"...
It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
1) There's a sucker born every minute.
2) Kids do the darndest things.
3) Tricks are for kids.

`What's sex like for Michael?
~Like candy from a baby.

`What's Michael's favorite dish?
~Creamed shrimp.

`Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances?
~He wants to spend more time with the kids.

`How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?
~Hire a Catholic priest to do it.

`What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael Jackson?
~"The African Queen."

Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a
new video called... "I'll beat it for you."

`Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians?
~So he could be black again.

`How does Michael Jackson resemble the Cincinatti Reds?
~They're both whiter than they should be.

Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Would Be Cooler if He Lived in the Star Wars Universe

1. Due to high loss-of-hand rate, wearing one glove is fashionably acceptable.

2. Would not have needed huge effects budget for 'Captain EO'.

3. In shocking revelation, he might have really been the father of Billie Jean's son.

4. Could really walk on moons.

5. After skin-altering disease, could become Light Lord of the Sith.

6. Could ease tensions between Empire and Alliance with anti-violence message of 'Beat It'.

7. Imperial breath mask could give him the deep voice he never had.

8. Improved medical technology could make new nose and chin more realistic.

9. Would have sure-fire hit with Sy Snootles duet

10. Would strengthen characterization of movies by making Luke look manly.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5