 BLONDE
JOKE
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This blonde joke page will have you in stitches! Hey, got
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Q:
How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q:
What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q:
How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q:
What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q:
What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q:
What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q:
What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q:
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q:
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T
WALK".
Q:
Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q:
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q:
Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q:
Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q:
Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q:
Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown
around too much.
Q:
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q:
How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"
Q:
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q:
What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q:
Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q:
Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Q:
How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q:
What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
Q:
Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q:
What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q:
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q:
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q:
What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q:
Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q:
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q:
Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
Q:
Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q:
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q:
Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q:
When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q:
What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q.
How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1. Blow in her ear.
A2. Buy her another beer.
Q. What does a
blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A. "Thanks for the refill!"
Q. What is it
called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A. Data transfer.
Q. What do you call
10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
Q. What
do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A. Air Pockets
Q. Why should
blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them.
Q. Why aren't
blondes good cattle herders?
A. Because they can't even keep two calves
together!
Q1 How can you tell
if a blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's white-out on the screen.
Q2. How can you
tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's writing on the white-out.
Q. What's the
difference between a blonde and a computer?
A. You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q. What did the
blonde think of the new computer?
A. She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
Q. What do you call
a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A. Branch Manager.
Q. What is the best
blonde secretary in the world to have?
A. One that never misses a period.
Q. Why are only 2%
of blondes touch-typists?
A. The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q. How can you tell
which blonde is the waitress?
A. She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she
did with her pencil.
Q. Why won't they
hire a blonde pharmacist?
A. They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Q. How can you tell
if a blonde works in an office?
A. A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
Q. What's the
difference between a blonde and your job?
A. Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q. How can you tell
if a blonde writes mysteries?
A. She has a checkbook.
Q. How can you tell
when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A. There is a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call
it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. Why does NASA
hire peroxide blondes?
A. They're doing research on black holes.
Q. Why are there no
dumb brunettes?
A. Peroxide.
Q. How
do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A. The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q. Why is it good
to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.
Q. What does a
blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
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