Our sports jokes will really "hit home". There's plenty to
laugh about when it comes to sports. Did we miss a joke to do with
sports that maybe you have? Submit it to
us and we'll add it to our popular sports related jokes category!
guy named Joe receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his
company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at the stadium, he realizes
the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he's
closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through
the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat
10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline.
decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium
and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down,
Joe asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is
anyone sitting here?"
man says "No."
very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again
inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who
in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl
and not use it?!"
man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was
supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the
first SuperBowl we haven't been together at since we got married
that's really sad," said Joe, "but still, you couldn't
find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?"
"No," the man replies, "They're all at the funeral."
Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The
bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed." The man
replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and
you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen,
turned on the game. The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets
score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals
and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! That's one
hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score
a touchdown?" asked the bartender. The man replied, "I
don't know. I've only had him for seven years."
guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his
company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes
the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium he's closer
to the Goodyear blimp than the field. About halfway through the first
quarter, Bob notices an empty seat that was 10 rows off the field,
right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his
way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty
he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me,
is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in
such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to
him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat
like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?" The man replies, "Well,
actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife,
but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been
together at since we got married in 1965." Well, that's really sad,"
says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? Was
it a relative or close friend?" No," the man replies, "they're all at
During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of
the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to
his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the
world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than
your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's
huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can
you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who
proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to
splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and,
in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!"
enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman
hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if
I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
Alexander Potter was a sports fan whose face was always either buried
in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night
as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got
up, walked across the room and unplugged the television set. "Hey,"
Alex shouted, "what do you think you're doing?"
"I am sick of sports, and I'm sick of TV," his wife replied. "You
haven't touched me in months. We're going to talk about sex right
now!" "Okay, Okay. So..." After a moment, he asked, "How often do you
think Brett Favre gets laid?"
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down
and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy
Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy
Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear,"
answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She
beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you
want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago
Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who
handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody
couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the
Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was
horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the
way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then
force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw
the baby to second base.
other day was Take Your Daughter To Work
day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their
daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer
chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs
have the same chip in there scoreboard.
day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the
Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey
Mantle, and all the greatest players up here". "Yes", snickered the
devil, "but I have all the umpires."
rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up
to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the
young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every
game." "When is that?" "Right after the National
guys are walking down a street in hell when it begins to snow. One guy
looks up at it and says, "Well, it finally happened. The Cubs just won
the World Series."
recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new
country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The
next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up
and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run you bastard,
r-run will you!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman,
obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run you
bastard, r-r-run will you!" The next batter held his swing at three
and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling
"R-r-run you bastard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle
quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his
embarrassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and
screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"