Ten Inspirational Sayings We'd Like to See at the Nurse's Station
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did
it by killing all those who opposed them.
If at first you don't succeed...try management.
TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Hang in there....retirement is only 35 years away!
Go the extra mile...it makes your supervisor look incompetent.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
Administration...we waste time so you don't have to.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity, probably has a scapegoat.
Succeed in spite of Administration.
Ten Things You Need To Know To Be A Nurse
If it's wet make it dry.
9. If it's dry make it wet.
Always ask for on-call pay before agreeing to overtime.
Never tell management what you are really thinking.
Never finish report with, "You have an easy assignment".
Never say. "This looks like a easy assignment".
Don't expect nurses aids to do their job.
Don't expect doctors to believe any thing you tell them.
If you don't have enough time to do everything, take about 30
minutes to complain about it.
If it moves, rattles, shakes, falls down, or won't stay in place:
10 Reasons to Become a Nurse
Pays better than McDonald's (though the hours aren't as good.)
9. Fashionable shoes and sexy uniforms.
Needles: 'tis better to give than to receive.
Confidence in reassuring patients that all bleeding stops ...
Opportunity to expose yourself to rare, exotic, and exciting new
Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders
in perfectly clear handwriting.
3. Admit it, it's a lot easier than med school.
Celebration of holidays with all your friends ... at work.
Comfort in the knowledge that most of your patients survive no
matter what you do to them.
ten reasons to become a nurse:
1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.
3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"
4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.
5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.
6) Interesting aromas.
7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders
in perfectly legible handwriting.
8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work.
10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter
what you do to them.
know you're a nurse if...
believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley
believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.
sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.
know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place
in town by heart.
can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
everything can seem humorous ... eventually.
asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you
show them your shoes.
time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors
and clamps in your pockets.
can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing
than he can.
carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for
pharmacy to deliver.
refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and
triggers "flash backs."
check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see
if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another
table throw up.
notice that you use more four letter words now than before you
became a nurse.
time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of
them on you.
can intubate your friends at parties.
don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.
live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle,
to convince the physician is more difficult."
basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.
told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and
to HOLLER if they need help.
microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.
checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure
of the answer.
find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery
can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner
break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.
avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll
drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your