Hold mouse up to ear like a cell
phone and yell "I can't hear you!!! You're going to have
to speak louder!"
Play Pac Man and state to person
next to you, "These new games are incredible!"
Practice 'spinning mouse mat on
index finger' globe trotter routine.
Put your monitor's contrast and
brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell "It's going
Tell the cashier you wish to redeem
your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL
Typing hard and loudly looking
behind you yell, "STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY
MAKE THINGS WORSE!"
Sit at the web terminal... without
Wheel your leather executive chair
into Internet cafe and up to the computer with the largest monitor.
Sit down, turn to the person next to you handing them a stack
of papers, "Get these photocopied right away, the president
wants them by end of day."
Casually look around the room for
people in chat rooms, log into the same chat room and after a
brief and somewhat disturbing conversation state "Your blue
jeans go well with your white shirt."
Use computer's speakers to play
collection of Sesame Street MP3's.
Dress up in ragged and worn clothes.
Walk into an Internet cafe that uses Windows with squeegee and
bucket, begin to squeegee monitors for spare change.
Draw two red lines on either end
of the floor with a marker, recruit other interested racers and
rev up your wheelie chairs.
Turn off the lights and have a
Star Wars light sabre moment with your optical mouse. (Darth Vader
sounds are encouraged for extra fun).
Show up in hand cuffs and gagged
mouth. Use foot to navigate mouse and visit 'escaped fugitives
guide' web site.
Put 1.44 disk in drive and have
person next to you do the same. Place bets and EJECT - furthest
disk is the winner!
In the middle of writing an email,
turn monitor off and sigh "Ahhh not again!!!", turn
monitor back on and utter "Oh thank goodness!". Repeat
until you see concerned faces.